A project and a passing
As soon as I picked up Bend-the-Rules Sewing, I knew I’d have to make the Lap Quilt right away. I had totally forgotten that I’d admired Daphne’s use of this pattern for her scrumptious little nephews. In case I’m not actually the last crafty sort on the planet to take a gander at this splendid little book, I’ll point you to some more beautiful versions others have sewn. I love this one, this Gee’s Bend-inflected version, and this one, which uses the same Amy Butler fabric I have left over from last summer’s skirt — leftovers I’d already decided to build my own quilt around. And most inspirational of all? These fantastic sheets by Moonstitches.
Happily, my burning desire to start sewing again coincided with Bolt’s semi-annual sale. I rooted through discounted fabric like a pig after truffles and came up with this:
I love bending the rules in my knitting, so I’m thoroughly content to follow Amy Karol off the beaten path in sewing, too. I already love her for eschewing fusible interfacing in favor of good old cotton flannel (some of which I also bought so I can sew a charming handbag or a bib on a whim this summer). But I can’t start on my quilt just yet: my sewing table is occupied by my cute little Vogue dress! I did the top this weekend, and thus far I’m very satisfied with my work. We’ll see if I still feel that way once I tackle the invisible zipper and find out whether the thing will fit. I’ve already discovered that a yard of ribbon for the tie at the top is not enough; I love the ribbon I have, though, so I’ll be working on a creative solution to dodge the need for extra length to tie a bow.
***
During the writing of this post I had a phone call from my mother to tell me that my grandmother has passed away. It’s not a sad passing. The word “pass” comes from Latin pace, “peace,” and that’s no euphemism in this case. [oops! This is me reading my dictionary wrong. The OED was trying to tell me that “pass” comes from an Old French word derived from Latin passus, which means ‘pace’ – not that passus itself derived from Latin pace. Now we all know. Thanks for the catch, Mom.] Ruth Phillips Foote lived ninety-seven wonderful years, and she died with the same quiet grace and perfect manners that marked her every action and set the behavioral benchmarks for all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was perfectly organized, she bought our Christmas presents in September and mailed them in November, she wrote stylish and heartfelt notes of gratitude for gifts or simple communications of love and pride at her family’s accomplishments. She was always dressed fit for high tea, she used her silver service daily, and she spoke so beautifully that her laudatory pronunciation of words like “newspaper” were instilled in me as a tot. (Now that I think about it, this last was especially remarkable: she was born and raised on Long Island.) But despite her high polish, she was warm and squeezable and ready to laugh. She adored her family and her many, many friends, and when she outlived them all, she just made kept making new ones. And she did the New York Times crossword every day of the week, including Sundays, and could beat anyone at Scrabble as recently as last year.
We knew she was coming to the end of her time with us. My brother got to make a final visit last week, and my aunt and uncle who live on the east coast have been making regular trips to see her. We knew she wouldn’t make it to his wedding in May, and she didn’t really get to know his fiancée, who is more like her in generosity and boundless affection and social grace than any of us. She treasured every chance of seeing her family all together and would have loved to be there. But it was time for her to go. In a lovely coincidence, one of her nieces stopped in for a last goodbye this afternoon. Having been a nurse, she could read the signs that Gram didn’t have much time. My grandmother wasn’t responsive, but when her niece held her hand and told her it was okay for her to leave and that Taddie, her beloved husband, was waiting for her, she made a little sound at his name. Three hours later she was gone.
It felt frivolous to go on with a chatty post about my new fabric, knowing that my last living grandparent had left us. But Gram was a consummate sewer. At seventeen, she took in sewing to help support her family after her father died, but the necessity of the work didn’t spoil her pleasure in it. She made clothes for herself and for her children. She made my mother’s wedding dress. And she would have been pleased to see me pick up the hobby. I have her little maple sewing box, which still holds her sewing machine needles and cleaning tools and some shockingly dull scissors, well used over the years. I would have sent her a picture of me in my finished dress, and she would have framed it and put it on her bureau with all the other photographs of her dear family. She would have written me an elegant letter of praise in her expansive, decorative hand and reminded me of her opinion that even though my cousin Alison and I were her two summas, what I was really cut out for was modeling, dear. Gram didn’t believe in long goodbyes. She was always ready to look forward, even though her memory for the past was unparalleled. She had a beautiful sense of balance that way.
So that’ll be all for tonight. I’m off to have a little glass of scotch in memory of both my grandmothers.
Posted: April 16th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
You are lucky to have had so many years with a wonderful grandmother, and blessed also to know that her ending came so peacefully. My own grandma has been gone over 25 years now and I still treasure her memory and marvel at having a connection, however fleeting, to the last days of the 19th century (I’m at least a generation older than you).
Your lap quilt is going to be charming — perhaps you’ll keep it for yourself as a bit of your grandma’s spirit, begun just as she was passing. Take care.
Posted: April 16th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
What a beautiful tribute. Your grandmother was of the generation that understood the value of manners and how things should be done. We will miss them.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 3:16 am
my grandmothers have been gone for 15 & 7 years, and they, too, passed on their love of fiber arts to me. Both taught me to sew. They also taught me to persevere. Hang tough. But do it with grace & style.
Your grandmother sounds like mine. Treasure those memories
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 3:32 am
i am sorry for your loss. she sounds like a wonderful lady.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 3:55 am
I’m sorry to hear of your grandmother’s passing. As is your style, you’ve written a beautiful tribute to her that would make her proud. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 4:24 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother’s death even though it was expected. You’ve written her a beautiful tribute. Thanks for sharing your memories of her. She sounds like she’s lived a remarkable, full life which is something we all aspire to, but rarely do.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 4:57 am
Your grandmother reminds me a lot of mine. But it’s heartening to read your tribute to her and know that her spirit, creativity, and grace live on in you.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 5:09 am
It sounds to me like your grandmother would have been very touched by the tribute you wrote for her, and she would have accepted your accolades with grace and humility. My condolences.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 5:15 am
what a lovely, lovely tribute, sarah. and what a blessing to have her for so long and to have such vivid memories of her. she lives on in your words.
after my grandmother died, my grandfather gave me many of her sewing and crocheting trinkets, and they are such treasures to me. i’m glad you have some pieces from your grandmother, as well.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 5:28 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother’s passing. It’s wonderful that you get to use her sewing tools!
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 5:49 am
This is such a loving tribute to what sounds like a remarkable woman. I hope you feel close to her every time you sew; it’s so nice that you have such wonderful memories to cherish.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Your grandma sounds like a very special person and don’t you feel so lucky to have had such a wonderful relationship with her? My grandma is 98 (we just celebrated her birthday last week) where she raised her hands in the air and announced “I am going to live to a hundred!” – in part because my cousin promised her a party at a place she had recently been for a different party. But we celebrate big for her every year, but she loves to have a party. My grandma is similar to yours in that she’s always looking to the future. My grandma is in the hospital now and always bounces back, but one of these times will be the last. I made her a Scandinavian hat for her going-home from the care center during her last health scare. We have matching hats – http://knitsaliving.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html and she loved it.
Best wishes for a peaceful goodbye to your special gram.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 6:30 am
i’m sorry to hear about your grandmother’s passing. she sounds like she was a very cool and sweet lady. i’m sure she will be missed.
your quilt is going to be fabulous with those fabrics!
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Your grandmother sounds like a remarkable woman. Thank you for giving us a little glimpse at her through your beautiful tribute. It is such a treasure that you have her sewing box and all the memories that go along with it.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 7:04 am
What a lovely and moving tribute to your grandmother. I am sorry for your loss.
When I was 16, my nana passed at only 52. She had been an avid seamstress her whole life, and, in my mind, I still see her at the machine in her little sewing room. About three years ago, when my daughter was one, I received a package in the mail–a little coat that my grandmother had sewn for my cousin, which my aunt had found and mended. She thought I might like to have for my baby girl. When I opened the box, I cried for a very long time, because, as an obessive knitter now, I know how much love and thought goes into handmaking something. That coat has a bit of my grandmother’s love still in it, and my daughter wore it almost every day until she outgrew it. Each time the sight of her wrapped in it gave me joy. Anyway, your beautiful post today called all that to mind for me. I am sure your grandmother would be delighted to know that you share her hobby and that you continue a loving tradition of sharing a bit of yourself in everything you make.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 8:10 am
My condolences on your grandmother’s passing. Even though things are expected sometimes doesn’t make them easy. It’s obvious that you have plenty of wonderful memories of her – thanks for sharing some of them with us.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Blessings to you, dear.
This was beautifully written.
I’m sure your Grandmothers would be
PROUD!
hugs,
Greta
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 10:48 am
What a lovely tribute to your grandmother.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I am glad that your grandmother was able to leave in such a peaceful manner. But I am very sorry she will not be with you any more. She sounds like an amazing person and I wish I could have known her. Hugs to you.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I echo all others sentiments. This was a wonderfull and vivid tribute to your grandmother. Thank you for sharing it with the internet world.
I LOVE the quilt you want to make and may have to make one as well. I am a new knitter but have been sewing since I was eight (28 years – ack!).
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Your grandmother sounds like an amazing lady that we all would have been pleased to know. We all should live so well and true.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I can only aspire to grow into a woman as wonderful as your grandmother. Thank you for sharing your beautifully written tribute to her.
About the fabric (because I actually squealed a little when I saw it): The floral print, second from the right in your photo… Can you tell me what the name of it is, or what company makes it? There was a scrap of that exact fabric in the fabric stash my mother handed down to me, and I’ve never seen it since, but loved it so.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
What an amazing tribute to your grandmother. I am crying a little reading it…I never knew who my own grandmother was until it was nearly too late, when she was no longer able to speak or walk at all.
You are incredibly lucky to have had the time to know such a strong and inspiring woman of your family for as long as you did.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
This is my first visit to your blog, but I just had to comment to tell you how wonderful this tribute to your grandmother is. It sounds like she was a very special lady–you were so lucky to have her for so long. I’m sure she will be missed.
Posted: April 17th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
It sounds to me as though you follow closely in your grandmother’s footsteps. I can only imagine how fond of you she must have been. oxoxo
Posted: April 18th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Sarah, what a lovely tribute to your grandmother. You, of course, are the greatest tribute of all, carrying on all the wonderful things she has taught or instilled in you. Thank you for sharing her with us, however briefly.
Posted: April 18th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother’s passing. What a lovely post you’ve written in her memory.
Posted: April 18th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I am very sorry for your loss. Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful person to have known, and I can only imagine how proud she was to have a granddaughter who shared her avocation.
Posted: April 18th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
I was just checking in to see the gorgeous work you do. I am so sad to hear this news. Your grandmother sounded like an amazing woman. I remember you speaking fondly of her in the past. My grandmothers were also of that old stock who seem amazing in today’s standards. After reading your tribute, I feel as though I knew your grandmother as well. May you always remember the wonderful things she taught you!
Posted: April 21st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Your grandmother sounds like she was quite an amazing woman. thank you for sharing her with us. My thoughts are with you.
Posted: April 22nd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. She sounds like an amazing woman.
Posted: April 22nd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Thank you for sharing something of your grandmother’s life and personality with us. She sounds like a truly gifted woman who knew how to enjoy past, present, and future all at the same time, and passed that among many other gifts to you and your family. I am so glad that she will go to your grandfather peacefully.
I’m sure she was very proud of all you have accomplished, and you will keep her memory alive. My condolences to you and your family on your loss.